A word of caution: smile emoticon
Once you focus on the good traits of your ex, you might think you are falling for him all over again.
Think about it. You put all the things that drove you crazy in the suitcase, and now you are with him like when you just met him. You only see the good stuff. That can play some tricks on you.On those rare occasions, and only if that happens, then it is time to re-open the suitcase of bad memories. I hate doing that, but sometimes it is necessary.
My story: After two years of beautiful divorce, I liked him so much and got along with him so well that I wondered if I was falling for him again. It really threw me for a loop. I was skeptical though, because I just divorced, and we were so happy. Could it really be? I thought about it, long and hard.
One day, I was on the phone with his partner. We were talking about our issues, (what works, what hurts, what needs to change, and so on.) Once we hung up, I realized a lot of what she was sharing with me were things I put in the ugly suitcase. It made me relive some hurtful moments during my marriage. For the next two days, I felt angry and resentful toward him. I learned two things that day:
Even though I focus only on the good, the other side is still there and that suitcase is really not good for the heart. Let’s not open it much. Just in case of emergency.