I feel my ex-spouse uses the kids against me. What do I do about it?
Focus on what you are doing and who you want to be. If you start focusing on what your ex is saying or doing, it will drive you crazy and you will end up putting your kids in the middle.
Instead, keep focusing on your actions, your words, and your reactions. Be the best you can be for your kids. Who do you want them to become? Be that person. Even on the days it is really difficult.
If the kids report something their dad said about you, then just breathe, smile, and move on. Don’t get into it. Or you can say something like, “I am sorry he feels this way.” And move on.
Kids are no dummies, they understand what’s going on. Be the better person. Be the adult. Don’t put your kids in the middle. Most of us say we don’t, but when we really start looking at our actions, we sometimes put them in the middle without realizing it. Be very aware of this.