Question: What do you do to create beauty when there is no reciprocal respect?
There are two cases:
1- You want a beautiful divorce but the other party does not.
2- You can’t stand your partner, want a beautiful divorce, but don’t know how to do it?
Answers:
1- You can’t control what the other will say or do, but you can control what you will say and do.
Teach them what you want them to be and to know through your actions.
Do you want them to respect their spouse or parents when they grow up? Then show them how to do it. Yes, maybe your partner will not do that, and that’s okay. You are creating the environment for your children. What do you want it to be? What are your values? What do you want to instill in them?
Of course, you don’t know what your kids will learn, but you are giving them a choice. You are showing them how it can be done.
And once you start to create a beautiful divorce on your side, you might be very surprised to see how the other party reacts. Once you start being kind and respect the other side, it might come back your way. If it does not, then you are clean with you heart and conscious. You are being a good hearted person. Isn’t it what you want your kids to be?
2- Nothing to like about your partner? Then hold on to the ONE thing: He or she is the other parent.
S/He is the co-creator of what you love the most. And just for that, you owe her or him respect.
You only need one thing to hold on to. Find it!!!
What do you want your kids to learn? Right now, they are learning everything you are and do (not so much what you say), so it is time to really take a good look at who you are choosing to be and make changes necessary to be the best example for them you can possibly be.
I was struck by a line in a movie not long ago: [a man talking to another man who just go divorced]…”She is the mother of your children, doesn’t it count for anything anymore?” Of course!!! Of course it should count, and of course we should give respect to the other parent, just for that reason. After all, don’t we keep saying that our kids are the most precious thing we have, and that we would die for them? Then, just for that, we owe respect to the other parent for giving us our
most precious treasure.
Again, Beautiful divorce starts for and with the kids. You have to put your hate into a suitcase and leave it behind. Not easy? Nope!! Still thinking your kids are first priority? Then do it for them.