My ex is bringing his new girlfriend to stay over for the weekend with him and my children. I can’t express how sickly I feel. I am completely crushed. I hate this so much! Why?
It is hard indeed to have another woman around your kids, however, please be conscious of what you wish for your kids. Do you want her to hate your children and your children to hate her and create a lot of hate in their lives? Or do you want your children to be loved? And for them to learn how to love also? It will be one of the hardest lessons to learn: Love the person you want to hate the most. What a beautiful lesson you are teaching them. And most of all, you are teaching them that they are worthy of being loved, no matter where the love comes from. Eventually, for the wellness of the children, we became a team of three to love them. It is not easy and we have many bumps in the road. But one thing was always sure, we all wanted to love them, and that was our commitment: Their happiness.
My ex brought his girlfriend within a few months of our physical separation and what was the most painful was not that she loved my kids, but that I felt replaced so quickly. Even though I wanted the divorce, it felt like it should have been me in the picture having a wonderful time with my husband and my kids. It was painful, extremely painful, because I had a dream of being married happily ever after. It was the end of a dream. It was seeing someone else living my dream.
Of course, you are feeling sick. This hurts the deepest. It is a dream that you have had since you were a little girl and now it is gone. Allow yourself the grief and the sadness, but never lose sight of the love for your children.
Please, wish them a great time all together, allow them to love and allow them to be loved.